I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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