Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think a kid would responsible me up
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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