This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
