Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
