mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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