Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk

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  (845): I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk http://tfl.nu/2s8p
  Replies (13) Good night (1011) Bad night (4053)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions

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  (206): weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions http://tfl.nu/qwf5
  Replies (12) Good night (5699) Bad night (1101)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.

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  (419): Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won. http://tfl.nu/dkj1
  Replies (3) Good night (2754) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch

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  (206): before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch http://tfl.nu/cp10
  Replies (14) Good night (2177) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.

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  (260): ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me. http://tfl.nu/9s81
  Replies (4) Good night (1360) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.

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  (518): Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved. http://tfl.nu/9gud
  Replies (7) Good night (1989) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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  (919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa
  Replies (18) Good night (4307) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.

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  (412): I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever. http://tfl.nu/25nu
  Replies (6) Good night (1938) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire

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  (+61): one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire http://tfl.nu/ff4y
  Replies (5) Good night (1763) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.

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  (+44): It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex. http://tfl.nu/wykh
  Replies (4) Good night (1436) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.

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  (408): My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside. http://tfl.nu/vhza
  Replies (10) Good night (1369) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start

  (585): View more from New York

  Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...

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  (585): You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start (585): Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea... http://tfl.nu/3df9
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it

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  (570): God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it http://tfl.nu/m1zz
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you fail at everything in life besides blacking out

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  (513): you fail at everything in life besides blacking out http://tfl.nu/frqk
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder

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  (347): you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder http://tfl.nu/lo2g
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (249)

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