Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out

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(210): View more from Texas

I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.

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(785): View more from Kansas

if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

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(614): View more from Ohio

True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

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(360): View more from Washington

She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit

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(909): View more from California

Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

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