I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it because I queefed?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.