You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
