i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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