Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
