I saw his package. It spoke to me.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I will pee on everything he values.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
