Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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