i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
