smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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