Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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