Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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