I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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