how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
