There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
