Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
