New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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