Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think I am morally bankrupt
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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