I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He passed out mid-signature
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
