Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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