It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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