Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Slut skills are useful in every country.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
