Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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