some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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