Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
