just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
