His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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