She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
