Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
