I smell stomach acid.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he just fucked me for my cheese..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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