ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
