I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
