your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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