I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
