I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
