I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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