like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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