It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You smell like stripper and shame
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
