I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
