is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
