The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
