i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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