Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
