Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize