so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
