i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
