ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
