Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
