I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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