His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
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Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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