Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
