great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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