so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize