he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
