I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
