Welp...herpes.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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