i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
