I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
