Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
