Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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