Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize