I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
