The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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